Sunday, January 31, 2010

I don't belive in Grey.

I've always been a black or white kind of person. In fact through the years I've gotten a lot of criticism for that. But I always believed that's one of my better traits. I will never make excuses for my mistakes. Nor will I expect people to apologize just because they hurt my feelings without doing anything wrong, I simply don't believe in Grey. How can one be kinda right or a little wrong, it just does not make sense to me. Or at least I thought it would never.

As I look , and watch small and big things happening around me, I always found myself sure of the difference between right and wrong. I have a tendency of simplifying things. I believe that there are certain wrongs, no matter what the reason behind the act, are universally considered unacceptable. Killing, stealing, rape, cheating and in my mind wasting a glass of good scotch :) I always believed that as the degree of the wrong lessens, or the gravity of the reason behind it increases, this is where the confusion begins. If I steal a piece of candy, is that wrong? I'm sure it is, but would stealing a piece of mentos affect the fabric of this universe? So no question its wrong, but because its so small, you might even find it funny. Now if i kill someone that raped and killed my wife and daughter and got out of jail because of a technicality, is that wrong? It is! But, I can understand why someone would do such a thing. So its wrong, but because of the reason behind it, you can forgive what that person has done.

In both cases what muddles the line between right and wrong is the emotion, or lack of it. In both cases we bend our tolerance because of what we feel. Is it right to do that? As I ask myself that simple question, I cannot give a black and white answer.

I assume just like me, you wonder, what is the point of this somewhat futile attempt to comprehend mans complexity. I wish I had an answer. In reality I just woke one day confused. I woke up asking, just because I was hurt, does it mean the other person is wrong? Or just because, happiness is the reason behind the act makes the other person right? Again another grey, something I don't believe in but will have to live with. As I examine my decisions and my emotions, I realize that what seemed like a life spent in black and white, is peppered with so many greys. Maybe one day, I can start appreciating the freedom that this color offers. But until then I will have to go back to believing that there is no room for interpretation when it comes to the truth, its either you are right or wrong.

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